How I feel about turning 50
I remember when I was the youngest one in the room.
I was in my early 20s, working at my first professional job, and my colleagues were at least twice my age. I thought they were so much more sophisticated than I was. They had children, and money issues, and were concerned about their aging parents and their medical needs. My only stress was finding the right outfit for a Saturday-night date. I was free and clear with no real responsibilities other than paying my rent and getting to work on time.
When I was 22, and my parents were in their 50s, they had careers, traveled and went out with friends, but I still thought of them as incredibly old, and I couldn’t imagine ever being their age.
But life has a way of racing ahead, and 28 years later, I am now about to celebrate my own 50th birthday this week. In my head, I don't feel “old,” or any different to how I felt at 40 or 30 or even 20. But society gives us the message that being 50 is not something to celebrate. The pressure that we feel to continue to be young can take its toll. Not caving into that pressure, and enjoying life is what, I believe, keeps us youthful.
I remember one of the first times I realised I had gotten older was when I ran my previous business, an indoor trampoline park business called Rush. The majority of my staff were born between 1990 and 2000, and I realised that apart from Phillippe, the kitchen chef, I was the oldest staff member out of 200 employees! It didn't stop me from the joining in and downing the odd Jager bomb at the annual Christmas party, but I knew that I would suffer far more the next day than they would!
As we age, most changes are subtle, and until we look back at pictures, we often don’t see them. Depending on our health, and our situation in life, we age at different rates. Some people don’t care about how their skin and body changes, while others fight it to the end.
When I first saw a gray hair, I couldn’t stop myself from plucking it out with tweezers, because it took me a while to comprehend what that thing was that was growing out of my head. I was in my 40s, and as any parent will tell you, the easiest way to get gray hair is to have children.
Parenting is a hard job, and there’s no way to know how you’re doing at the time. I now know my husband and I have done a good job. My 18 year old son is an elite swimmer, academic with a kind nature and is a true gentleman. My 15 year old daughter is beautiful, level headed, hard working and an elite rower and my 12 year old daughter is full of energy and life, caring and passionate about horses. All of our children like to spend time with us, and always show gratitude for the things we do.
Most of the time, I still have the same energy that I had in my 30s; even before I had kids. I still work out almost every day. The difference is now is that I have had both of my hips replaced (due to osteo-arthritis caused by long distance running and hip dysplasia) so I now push myself on my Peleton bike and I love to spin. When I go to our local David Lloyd Gym I look around and realise that I’m one of the oldest women lifting weights but I’m also one of the strongest.
The other women are mostly in their late 30s and early 40s and have a gaggle of children. I spend weekends watching a good boxset in front of a roaring fire while they’re at kids’ birthday parties. I’ll take getting older any day if it means not having to listen to one more person singing “Happy Birthday” to a screaming 3-year-old who doesn’t like loud noises.
When I was busy raising my kids and running my previous business, I didn’t take time for myself. I didn’t have the time to relax with a cup of coffee and often was was up at 5:00 a.m. taking my son swim training. Even my dogs got to the vet more than I got to the doctor. But I always ate healthily, with a balance of lean protein, salad, vegetables, oily fish and nuts. Now I make sure I drink The MenoShake (either Chocolate Collagen or Vegan Vanilla) every day as I know that if I have that every morning, it gives me all of the nutrients that my body needs at this stage and will support me with my menopause symptoms alongside HRT. It gives me the energy I need to tackle each day and it also helps to regulate my mood and my sleep.
Now that I am turning 50, I have decided that it is time to start putting myself first occasionally. I now want to start taking better care of myself, to make more time to see friends and travel with my husband.
As women, the number of years we’ve been on the planet can brand us. For those of us who took time off from our careers to have our kids, reentering the workforce at an older age can work against us. When you’re older, you bring wisdom and experience to any situation, so employers should rush to hire us. Many of us have raised families, know how to budget, are great at organising schedules and have good communication skills
Getting older is bringing with it a new mindset. I used to concentrate on things I regretted that I had or hadn’t done. Now that I’ve lived many more years, those regrets have evaporated, because now I know that those choices have helped make me who I am today. Plus, I have decided not to hold back any more and to find time to do the things on my bucket list that I have always wanted to do. My girlfriends bought me a flying lesson for my birthday and i'm so excited about it!
I have stopped caring about what random people think of me. When I was in my 20s, I wanted to be liked by everyone. I was also afraid to take risks. Entering my 50s, I realise I have a voice and an opinion, and I’m not afraid to use either one.
So, much to my surprise, my life isn't over as I hit 50. Instead, I am starting a new chapter and reinventing myself: I am now the CEO and Founder of BOMIMO, a brand with the mission to empower women to be their best self at every stage of life. I am so proud of how far BOMIMO has come since I launched in during lockdown in 2021. This period of my life feels more like midlife empowerment and a time to give something back. In The Second Mountain by David Brooks, the author asks the fundamental question - Is life about you - or others? Is it about success - or something deeper?
The world tells us that we should pursue our self-interest: career wins, high status, nice things. These are the goals of our first mountain. But at some point in our lives we might find that we're not interested in what other people tell us to want. We want the things that are truly worth wanting.
Turning 50 doesn't mean that I am going to slow down at all. In fact, I find myself busier than ever. I know plenty of women who are also launching their first business in their 50s or publishing their first book.
Now that I’m older, I now understand why my own mother has said that her 50s were her best decade and that she also felt the renewed energy I’ve experienced. She and my dad were rid of their kids and could do what they wanted, when they wanted. They recovered the freedom they had before my sister, and I were born. They could even run around the house naked ― although that’s not something I want to imagine.
Here's a few thoughts I have about turning 50:
- Turning 50 can be a significant milestone in a person's life, evoking a range of emotions and reflections. For some, it may represent the beginning of a new chapter and the opportunity to embrace the second half of life. For others, it may evoke feelings of sadness or anxiety as they contemplate their own mortality and the passage of time.
- Turning 50 can evoke feelings of pride and accomplishment. This can be especially true for those who have built successful careers, raised families, and achieved personal goals. At this age, they may feel that they have accomplished a great deal in their lives and have much to be proud of. They may look back on their journey with a sense of satisfaction, knowing that they have accomplished much and made a positive impact on the world.
- Turning 50 can be a source of anxiety and stress. Some may feel as if they have reached a crossroads in their lives, with one path leading to a peaceful and fulfilling retirement, and the other path leading to the uncertainties of old age. They may feel as if they have not accomplished as much as they would have liked and may worry about their financial stability and health as they age. They may feel as if they have lost control of their lives and are no longer in the driver's seat.
- Turning 50 can be a time of reflection and introspection. Some may take stock of their lives and consider the things that they have accomplished and the things that they still hope to achieve. They may think about their relationships, their health, and their spirituality. They may consider what they want to do with the rest of their lives and how they can continue to make a positive impact on the world.
- Turning 50 can be a time to focus on their health and well-being. Some may take up new hobbies and activities that promote physical and mental health, such as exercising, meditating, and practicing mindfulness. They may adopt healthier lifestyles and focus on maintaining good physical health. They may also seek to maintain good mental health by seeking out support from friends, family, and mental health professionals.
- turning 50 may be a time to explore new opportunities and pursue new passions. Some may return to school, take up new hobbies, or travel to new and exciting places. They may seek out new experiences and challenge themselves in new ways. They may also seek out new opportunities for personal growth, whether through volunteering, working with others, or pursuing new hobbies.
In conclusion, turning 50 can be a significant milestone in a person's life and can evoke a wide range of emotions and thoughts. It can be a time of pride and accomplishment, anxiety and stress, reflection and introspection, or a time to focus on health and well-being or explore new opportunities. Ultimately, it is up to each individual to determine what turning 50 means to them and how they want to approach this new chapter in their lives.
Maybe 50 is the new 35, and I’m good with that. But I’m also good with the idea that 50 is just 50. I’m in the prime of my life. I mostly do what I want. I am still a contributor to society, whether by creating nutritional supplements for women, or by just being there for my friends and family. I plan to keep doing all of that for many years to come.
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